Wednesday, March 4, 2009

The Forecast is Ugly with an 80% Chance of Nasty

Jesus, a California winter is looking like a cake walk these days. The weather is miserable right now, the last two days have been rainy and freezing, with snow coverring the ground and mountains when we woke up this morning. Pretty much puts a kabosh on any of our plans, 'cause i dont care for my kid to catch pnemonia. I knew this was all possible but... and the locals say that as it is snowing today, it could be dry and warm (as warm as it gets anyway) tomorrow.

At first I though I'd rent a car here, but Im seriously having second thoughts. These people drive like someones dying in their car, speeding towards their death in these vehicles that resemble clown cars on super slick roads that seem narrower than my driveway at home. Im at loss of what to do, how to spend our time during the weekdays as its to cold to have Connor outside/in a freezing tour bus... I am enjoying just being with my guy, but by the time next week rolls around we're going to crack up.

So today we'll go to Buddy's, a monsterous indoor playground, so C.Bears can run himself tired. I'll try to take some pics of this winter wonderland then.

xoxo
Kelli Leann

Monday, March 2, 2009

This Is Your Captain, Bob Dingle….

Apologies friends, it has taken me a solid five dys to start my travel blog. Jet lag is nothing to mess with, especially when travelling with a Bear.

10 hours on a flight with Connor was horrific. The child cannot be contained in a house, let along a plane. At about hour 3 everything broke in to pieces; he wanted to terrorize the plane and I couldn’t keep him content. If it wasn’t for the incredible patience and kindness of the stewies (stewardesses) of Air Lingus, we both would have been bawling for the remainder of the flight. To keep my kid happy, he ended up walking the aisels of the plane for a number of hours; I can honestly say Connor Joe walked across the Atlantic. I got zero sleep… a reciepe for exhaustion. When we arrived in Dublin a sense of surrealism washed over me, giving me a solid second wind. I had arrived home with my baby.

dublin airport


Connors family here is a collection of incredible people. The Irish people in whole are frickin awesome, kind beyond what any American is used to. Immediately Connor bonded with his Grandpa, his cousin Katie, Auntie Mary, and Grannie (Oona). Their home is beautiful, Grandpa built it himself 10 years ago… more room than we know what to do with. His home is situated on top of a hilly bluff above Killarney town that over looks Killarney State Park and the lakes within it. The landscape is something out of a dream, filled with the cliché sheep and rolling hills, punctuated with delicate wildflowers and farm homes. Killarney is about a five minute drive from the house, so we are far away enough to feel country but close to all that is needed.

behind the house...
behind house

view from the front of the house...
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We haven’t done too much yet, aside a few visits in to town. The jet lag was major, and it has been rainy (SURPRISE) over the weekend. I did however have an opportunity to take a walk p the road towards a cemetery, mixed with the dead of recent times as well as ancient. On the grounds is a ruin of an abbey as well as some other buildings from the early middle ages: this is what I came here for. As I climbed my way through the jagged headstones I reached the abbey ruins, which made the hair on my arms stand up. The energy of something so ancient, so holy was invigorating as well as somber. I traced my fingers along the hand carved detail, like a wide eyed kid at Christmas… and came along the remains of something incredible. It was a carving of what appeared to be an angel, Jesus and some other figure… halos around their heads, smiles on their faces. At the moment of amazment, the clouds opened above me and began to rain. I’ve talked about this trip being a cleansing for me, and at that moment it was if Mother Earth chose to baptise me in that rain. Don’t get me wrong, it was freezing and WET- and this rain comes in from every direction, rightways, leftways, down and up. I scooted up to the corner of the abbey walls to steer clear of the rain as much as possible and as soon as it let up I hurried my ass back to the house. Ahhh…. This is what I came here for…. And I promise these entries will be more frequent.

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the abbey
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amazing...
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god lookin' down...
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Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Departure

we're leaving for the airport soon... its all happening. every item on my list has been checked off, i've checked in online, and bear is taking the shortest nap ever.

oooooohhhhh boy friends. signin off till we're on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean-

Love Always,
Kelli Leann & Connor Bear

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Sunday, February 22, 2009

when you wish upon a star....

Three days until we leave and it feels so good….

Words cannot explain how incredibly excited I am. On the Food Network last night Bobby Flay did this hour long special on food in Ireland and I became overcome with emotion, saying to myself “I’m going to be there in a matter of days.” I don’t know why it’s always meant so much to me… its been the stage for my dreams since I was a girl and the history of their ancients has always resonated with my inner truths. Maybe would explain why my son is ½ Irish at least.

Today I got a good start on my packing. Cleaned out the makeup bags, folded all the clean clothes we are bringing, collected the photos we’re to bring, started throwing stuff in to the carry-ons… 80 pounds of stuff is starting to feel like a possibility.

Tomorrow I have payroll work for a client, Tuesday I’ll be getting my mane colored, Wednesday we get up, pull our stuff together and go! Baby’s daddy never saw his son this weekend. He did care to call to tell me so… hes not doing well. My heart aches for him, I know he hates that we are going without him. My success highlights his failures, and though I wont stop my drive for attaining the life I want… I wish him all the success and love. Also, something tells me that there’s a 65/35 chance he’ll end up home while we are there. I’ll keep you updated.

Oooooooo yeah. Only 72 hours till my dream comes true!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

i'm never calling Ms. Cleo again....

This time next week C. Bears and I will be boarding our flight to Dublin- I cannot believe it!
I’m in a morose mood though… last night I received some introverted clarity about my (ex) guy and I. This trip means the world to me, and I’m going to wring it dry of experiences but to say there wouldn’t be a sense of sadness included- I would be lying. We’re going to visit his country, his family, the places he grew up… his energy will be abound and it’s me who will have to swim in it. Though I wouldn’t take back leaving him if I could, I’ve come to realize that I have a larger part in our ‘current’ demise than I’d admit. Before we go I have so much to tell him, from the softer side of me that will clear my heart for this trip. A purging of loving truth and forgiveness if you will.
Packing… laundry… getting hair did… visiting the sister… these things are next.

Monday, February 16, 2009

You said it man, Nobody fu*k wit the Jesus!

“Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click."
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Im having a Dude-like day for sure. The last Monday at work before our departure, and everything is tense. One Lady in the office has always been a bitch, has now elevated her attitude to ‘fucking bitch’ (damn nihilist!)… the temp company and the manager here have failed to communicate to each other in the past week, leaving me to be the barer of ill tidings … I keep telling myself ‘whatever’, that its almost over FOREVER. Im sick of coming to work everyday feeling like someone has stolen my rug… “it really brings the room together!!”
AS far as trip progress is concerned, we got all of our last minute purchases out of the way. Our ride from the airport will be waiting, I have a sitter the first Friday im there so I can go out and cut loose. . Im stoked to get my hair done, get a mani/pedi so I arrive looking fresh, to have cute clothes to wear. I haven’t treated myself to much the last two years, it’ll be nice to be fresh. Now the trick is wading through the bullshit of this life till the day we leave… I could sure use a few Caucasians for lunch.

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Friday, February 13, 2009

And the Frenzy Ensues…

Two weekends within 12 days till departure. I’ve never had to prepare for anything like this trip. If it was just me going I’d still be freaking out. I have to pack LOADS of crap for Bear, and currently he’s being counted as an infant which has a restricted amount of luggage we can bring. For checked luggage I can bring up to two suitcases under 70 lbs (70 pounds?!?! What the hell would anyone do with 70 pounds of crap???). For cabin luggage I can bring up to two bags, also a stroller and a car seat. Let’s think about this logically: how am I going to get through an airport to the gate with Connor Joe, a car seat, a stroller, and two large carry-ons?? In the good ole days my brother could walk me to the gate but not anymore…. Thanks A LOT you stupid terrorists. Still on the list to get:
Benadryl
Ear plugs for the other passengers
A new toy or two to occupy the wee one
Various Target items

I keep thinking how much easier this would be with another person…. If Sean was coming as we planned months ago. As much as I know I don’t want to be with him, I do. It’s very telling that I’m making this trip alone; his family sees that I’m not all talk and that I’m different from Sean. The possibilities that this trip holds are incredible and still a part of me is grieving the loss of the old Sean in our lives. But my chin is up; I know that I won’t get to where I want to go without the pain of letting go of where I was. This trip holds so many purposes, the silent and possibly most important one being of rejuvenation. Though Connor is getting christened, his Mom will be reborn.